Spiritual Works of Mercy

Last week I quoted from Beautiful Mercy, a collection of authors brought together by Matthew Kelly, about the Corporal Works of Mercy that exhort us to care for the hungry, thirsty, naked, homeless, sick, imprisoned, and dead.

I suspect every one of us could practice one of the following Spiritual Works of Mercy daily, and our efforts would bring healing to our relationships. Parents, particularly, are constantly given chances to act with mercy for their children’s sakes as they instruct the ignorant or correct sinners. And, oh my, does anyone with siblings or coworkers not have to bear wrongs patiently sometimes? What teen doesn’t need counsel when the human weaknesses of authority figures cause them to doubt? Every marriage can benefit from both parties being willing to forgive offenses willingly and quickly! We struggle to comfort the afflicted as we walk with our friends through their illnesses and heartbreaks. The older we get, the more of each there seems to be. And how do we manage all this when so much is beyond our control? Sometimes all we can do, while at the same time the very greatest work we can do, is pray for the living and the dead.

By now these long posts probably seem daunting and are easy to put off for later. Instead, please read just one of the following each day and ponder the wisdom of the quotes.

Instruct the ignorant (unknowing, unaware)

• Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6
• Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses. – Pope Blessed Paul VI
• Instructing the ignorant aims to help each person find his or her role in this great story of salvation, giving him or her meaning and purpose—and ultimately a mission to do the same for others. – Sarah Swafford

Counsel the doubtful

• To counsel means to assist someone in the act of deciding, not just to give vague or generic advice. Giving counsel to the doubtful is that work which helps the undecided to come to a good and upright decision rooted in the call to holiness and the goal of attaining Heaven by God’s grace. – Msgr. Charles Pope
• We do not need a degree in theology or catechetics to counsel the doubtful. We all know that some of the most convincing people of faith have been the simplest individuals we’ve known. They just love God and their neighbor and live straight from the heart. … God doesn’t need us to defend him, but these hurting doubters do need our forbearance. People should be able to say of us: “If your God is anything like you, I want to know him.” – Sr. Helena Burns, FSP

Correct sinners

• Are you a sinner? So am I. That is a good place to begin. – Matthew Kelly

• Whoever brings back a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. James 5:20

• The key is to recover what it means to be merciful in our communication of truth. Are we patient and self-sacrificing with those who need to hear the truth? Are we courteous and do we avoid a confrontational style that will easily lead to closed hearts and minds? Do we recognize our own weakness and sin in humility? Are you prepared to gently and reverently reveal what God has done in your life? Are you deeply aware of your own need for a savior? Love builds a bridge over which truth can pass. – Daniel Burke

Bear wrongs patiently

• Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9
• On earth, did Jesus act out of a sense of fairness? No, he acted out of love. For love to endure it must be patient, especially in the face of injustice. – Matthew Kelly
• The wounds we have received didn’t come about overnight, and the healing won’t take place overnight either. It takes time, perseverance, and determination. … Regardless of where you have been or what you have done, be at peace. The only sin God won’t forgive is the one you will not ask forgiveness for. – Matt Fradd

Forgive offenses willingly

• The Our Father is an incredibly powerful prayer. Pray it slowly, and let the words “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” sink deep into your heart. – Matthew Kelly
• Mercy is required when we are faced with the inexcusable and tempted to declare those offenses unforgivable. When we experience the scandalous, unjust, lavish, outrageous mercy of God at the depth of our being, it will utterly transform us. Our attempts to hold on to past grievances and harden our hearts to those who have caused us injury will seem to be mere comedy. – Fr. James Mallon
• While forgiveness is a decision, an act of the will, it is rarely an event. For many of us, forgiveness is a process. First, a person has to realize that he has been hurt. Second, since mercy is rooted in justice, one needs to weigh what the other person “owes” him. Third, he or she is called to make this one decision: “While justice demands that you give me what you owe me, I will not make you pay me back. I release you from your debt.” You may have to repeat this process many times for the same offence. But each time you do, you will become more and more free, and you will become more and more an image of Jesus Christ himself, who forgives our offenses willingly. – Fr. Mike Schmitz

Comfort the afflicted

• Blessed be…the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:4
• In the midst of a sin-saturated world, people need to know that they matter, that their pain matters, that they are seen. … What a difference the presence of a comforter can make. … Nothing makes us more effective ministers of comfort than having suffered ourselves. Not one of your tears of pain will be wasted if you allow them to be redeemed in the life of another. God can use every ounce of what you have been through to make this world a better, kinder place. – Lisa Brenninkmeyer
• To step out of my own needs and my own preoccupation and take notice, and then to move into another’s life with comfort, is not only a revelation of the nature of the universe and the God who freely chose to create it, it is also the key to unlocking God’s mercy in our own lives. – Curtis Martin

Pray for the living and the dead

• The basic belief is that nothing, neither life nor death, separates us from the love of Christ (see Romans 8:35). Praying for the faithful departed is an expression of great love in Christ. – John Michael Talbot
• Perhaps one of the greatest joys of heaven will be seeing how much of a difference our prayers made, even the distracted and perfunctory ones. … Our deceased loved ones go to the judgement seat of Christ. And that is worth praying about! How consoling and merciful our prayers must seem to our beloved who have died! – Msgr. Charles Pope

Blessings on your final week of Lent!

Corporal Works of Mercy

In his book, Beautiful Mercy, Matthew Kelly enlists the help of 26 authors to discuss the quality of mercy, particularly organized around the corporal works of mercy (feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned, and bury the dead) and spiritual works of mercy (instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, correct sinners, bear wrongs patiently, forgive offenses willingly, comfort the afflicted, pray for the living and the dead.) He suggests we imagine how the world would be different if everyone practiced just one work of mercy each day. Are you willing to take him up on the challenge?

Here are ideas from his book, and a few suggestions from me (B) for the corporal works of mercy. Next week we can look at the spiritual works.

Corporal Works of Mercy

Feed the hungry

• Give money, adopt a child in a poor country, volunteer at a food pantry, make sandwiches for the homeless, give change to a beggar, take food to a shut in. – Fr. Larry Richards
• Organize a food drive, start a food pantry at your parish, make dinner for a family in need, make dinner for your family with love, “bring home the bacon” for your family, start a walkathon to provide for the poor. – Fr. Michael Gaitley MIC
• See if your church, like ours, takes meals to the homeless regularly. Bring a casserole or be one of the servers. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels. – B

Give drink to the thirsty

• “The Latin word for mercy, misericordia, means ‘a heart which gives itself to those in misery.’” Become a living witness to the well of Christ’s “living water” for others. – Christopher West
• I don’t have to travel halfway around the world to find folks who thirst. A friend who single-parents a child with special needs thirsts for compassion, understanding, and welcome. And often my own family thirst for my care and attention. – Lisa M Hendey
• Conserve water at home. Consider a donation to organizations that provide safe water to communities; see http://water.org . – B

Clothe the naked

• Give your extra clothes to those in need, knit caps for those losing their hair to cancer, extend your Christmas gift lists to buy clothes for those in need. – Dr. Allen R Hunt
• Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Colossians 3:12
• Choose a day annually or seasonally when you simplify your closets and donate the excess to local charities. – B

Shelter the homeless

• Support groups like Catholic Charities who provide homes for the homeless, volunteer at a homeless shelter. Family must always be home, the shelter for the lonely, disabled, or elderly family members who can no longer care for themselves. Family members should never feel homeless, no matter what their condition. – Cardinal Donald Wuerl
• Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Hebrews 13:2
• Work for legislation to help the homeless. – B

Visit the sick

• There is no substitute for human interaction. You can send a gift, make a phone call, write a letter, even say a prayer, but nothing compares to a smile and a hug. Nothing says “you matter,” “you have dignity,” “you are loved” quite like a personal encounter. – Matthew Kelly
• Whether they are physically ailing or “sick at heart,” just a visit can be healing…. Just being present and praying is all that is needed. Do not forget about members of your own family who might need a visit. Without being a medical professional, you visited, you healed, and you gave comfort! – Fr. Donald Calloway MIC

Visit the imprisoned – ransom the captive

• One of the wonderful parts of being in a merciful community is that our fellow community members are able to see things in us that we might not see in ourselves. … gifts, talents… They see our faults too. We help each other stay on the right path when we can. And even in our imperfection, our own brokenness, we can help others heal. Together, and with the grace of God, we are lifted up, let out, set free. – Kerry Weber
• The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed. Luke 4:18
• Treat a caregiver to a break, whether by babysitting, or sitting with someone’s elderly parent. Volunteer with prison ministry. Look for groups that assist families of prisoners. – B

Bury the dead

• I have seen the birth of such life in young women who came to the fountain of mercy after suffering from abortion and in young men who came seeking healing after being wounded in the darkness of pornography and addiction. … Yes, it is painful to be at Calvary, yet because there I meet Jesus, the one who is the life and Resurrection, even when I’m there to bury the dead or walk with those who are spiritually dead, I stand there with hope, to carry hope, and to pass on hope. – Mother Olga Yaqob
• You matter. When everything boils down, that is what this work of mercy—burying the dead—is all about. Looking closely, we see that this work of mercy actually hits home in the most intimate place of our hearts: our deep thirst to know that even our greatest vulnerability—death—doesn’t take away the meaning and purpose of our bodies. Rather, in death, our bodies separated from our souls in the ultimate poverty and powerlessness, await Someone who will come and bring this body back to life. In burying someone we are saying: “You are worth reverencing. You are sacred. And you belong to Christ.” With this act, we surrender to the earthshaking reality of the truth of ourselves, body and soul, and the mad love God has for us. – Sr. Marie Veritas, SV

I’ll close with this quote from Fr. Larry Richards: “Now you might be thinking, ‘OK, OK, I should start to do something.’ But thoughts and good intentions are not enough—you need to turn these thoughts into reality. So what are you going to do? [..]. Let God use you and start to change the world!”

Letting Go of Guilt 2

Welcome back!

Last week we began Fr. Peter Siamoo’s steps to forgiving ourselves, or granting ourselves mercy.

We covered:

• Acknowledge what we’ve done.

• Talk about it.

• Learn from it.

• Make peace with it.

This week we will continue with Father’s words.

Since we are social beings created for a purpose in life, any mistake we commit has three dimensions. It is against God, it offends and hurt others, and it hurt us. If we want peace to be restored after mistakes, then we need to touch or address those three dimensions, namely God, others, and oneself.

Ask for and accept forgiveness from God.

What kind of God do you believe in? The majority of religions including the three major world religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) believe in God who is loving and forgiving. Those religions have different ways of seeking and obtaining God’s forgiveness. (Sacrament of Reconciliation, Lent, Yom Kippur, Ramadan.) The common point is God readily forgives our transgressions when we sincerely ask for it.

Use whatever you are familiar with according to your faith tradition and seek God’s forgiveness to free yourself from the negativities of past mistakes.

Jesus said, “Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7).

Forgive and request forgiveness from others.

Give forgiveness. Despite the hardship of forgiving major transgressions, choosing not to forgive is not an option for the spiritual, psychological, emotional, and even physical wellbeing of the offended.

The perpetrator has already wounded you. He or she does not have the credibility, dignity, nor honor to be remembered and carried in your heart all the time. We might occasionally remember them when we are praying for their conversion, asking God to change their hearts to make better choices for their sake and the sake of other people who might be the recipient of their poor choices, as we once were. Otherwise we need to let them go from our hearts.

What is the right thing to do when I feel that I cannot forgive, at least not for now? Do not condemn yourself by saying “I will never forgive!” Rather, it is better to tell yourself or the other person for that matter, “I do not feel ready at this time!” You need to process more. You may need help from a professional counselor, spiritual director, or your clergy to assist you as you explore and make a safe way out of that mess. It means you are not permanently putting yourself in the corner of “lack of inner peace” where you might not have an escape.

Be humble enough to ask for forgiveness. The scriptures indicate that God prefers reconciliation over sacrifice. We read, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” (Matthew 5:23-24).

Since asking for forgiveness works whether the victim accepts your request or not, it gives you 100 percent control of the situation or process. This means you are not under the mercy of anybody while working to free yourself from the bondage of those negative emotions which rob you of your peace. This fact makes you ultimately in charge of the entire process of restoring your peace.

Forgive yourself

Do you remember the saying, “Charity begins at home?” If it is good for other people to be forgiven of their transgressions, it is good also for me to forgive my own transgressions. But forgiveness of self is a very unfamiliar concept to most of us.

Self-love is biblically mandatory and demands self-forgiveness: When our Lord was asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” He replied:

“The most important one is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Luke 10:27)

In summary, forgiving yourself after messing up is:

• An act of appreciation for God’s love and forgiveness; it is accepting it and owning it
• Self-love that restores your inner freedom and peace
• A choice you make to acknowledge and accept God’s mercy and choose to treat yourself better than what you think you deserve for doing that wrong thing
• Worth doing it because you are special and unique and therefore you deserve a better life than carrying guilt around
• A way of imitating God who has forgiven you, and
• Important to be happy, since life is short, and we should make the most out of it

Make amends

As a last step of the process of inner peace restoration, do something small or big, as the situation demands, to repair the damage and restore the relationship.

Where possible, pay back the whole of what is owed and repair the damage in full. More often it is impossible to make a full repair. In that case amends as a token should be made. It is necessary, acceptable, and enough.

It might demand further action to prevent future occurrences of the same mistake such as attending anger management classes, DUI classes, AA meetings, or seeking help from counseling professionals, etc.

As a closure of the process, making amends is intended to open a new page and start a new chapter of the restored relationship. Psychologically, it might make the perpetrator feel better that at least he did something positive to make up for the mistakes, and to the offended that the offender desires a new beginning and cares enough to do something about his mistakes.

Yes, being perfect is our call and our goal, but it is also true that no one is there yet. Demanding perfection of ourselves sets a path for hopelessness and despair which are a good recipe for low self-esteem and depression.

The point is, love yourself enough to forgive!

Thank you, Fr. Siamoo, for your wise words. We hope it won’t be long before your full book on this subject finds a publisher!

Next week, Works of Mercy. Blessings until then!