Joseph’s Joy

Joseph’s Joy: The Family Man is finally available! The novel follows its predecessor, Miriam’s Joy! by asking what would happen if Saint Joseph visited a modern town to help a few local men understand the importance they play in their families’ lives. This is my sixth Christian love story but moves beyond romance to family love and relationship.

These two books could be a nice Advent read, especially if you’d like a closer understanding of Mary and Joseph as living people you can relate to!

So far, I’m getting some very nice comments from readers!

• Just finished Joseph and loved it.  So heartwarming and your characters are, as always, people i want to meet.  Hated getting to the end.
• You are such a gifted writer and spiritual inspiration. I feel blessed that I picked up your books…
• …find your style of writing to ring so true.
• I just finished Joseph’s Joy.  I couldn’t put it down, so read it in a few hours.  It was great!  I had tears in my eyes frequently and just plain loved it.
• Thank you so much for a great and enjoyable read.  It was perfect for me at this time.

The Gift of Holy Saturday

Have you ever asked yourself what Holy Saturday is all about? We know the gift of Good Friday – that Jesus suffered and died for us so that we can experience forgiveness now and joy with Him in Heaven. And we understand the gift of Easter – that Jesus rose from the dead, and in so doing, conquered death’s hold over us so that we might rise again, too.

So, what is the gift of Holy Saturday?

Imagine what the disciples must have felt like on Saturday. Surely on Friday they were numb and couldn’t believe what had happened. But Saturday came and they had to admit Jesus had died. All their hopes for a better life must have died with Him. Jesus—who was so charismatic, so good, so filled with potential, who was going to lead them into a new kingdom—had agonized and then breathed His last on the cross.

Think of the women who followed Him and hadn’t been able to embalm His body on Friday. Now on Saturday they were not allowed to do so because of the Sabbath. So, they were left with no way to show Him their devotion, no opportunity to pay tribute to His body. No work to distract themselves from their loss.

I’ve been there, haven’t you? When all your hopes have been destroyed and you realize your dreams will not be realized. Perhaps when someone you love has died? It takes time to process your loss. Your mind doesn’t want to accept the pain and pushes it away in denial. We want to blame someone, and often God takes the brunt of our anger. We are where Lazarus’ sister was when she said, “Lord, if you had been here our brother wouldn’t have died!” We are where Jesus was when He said, “Father, why have You abandoned me?”

Yet, at some point in your Holy Saturday experience, you realize a phase of your life is over, and you must bear the loss and go on.

I think the gift of Holy Saturday is that even when we are at our lowest, and everything seems hopeless, and even when we can’t feel God is near, He is. When we are in that dark pit, alone and desolate and frightened, He is there. When we are “going through Hell,” we can know the Son of God has been there, too. There is no depth we can sink to, where He hasn’t been.

Jesus taught us how to make it through the Holy Saturday loss when, though He felt abandoned, He said, “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit.” He showed us God still exists, even when we can’t feel Him, and we can trust and place ourselves in His hands.

Yes, He could have risen on Saturday morning. Yes, He could give us everything we want right when we want it. But then we wouldn’t be given the gift of being able to say, “God, I can’t feel You here. I can’t understand what has happened. I’d give anything to change it, and I don’t know why You allowed it. Still, I believe in You. I know, even though it doesn’t seem like it right now, You love me. And I know you are all powerful. So even if I can’t have what I want, I trust You that you know what I need, and You want to shower me with goodness.”

It takes time to get to the point of being able to say this and mean it, all while enduring intense pain. But that’s the gift of Saturday, Time. And because we now know that Jesus did rise and our God isn’t dead, the gift of Saturday is Hope. Because of that Saturday and what happened next, we now can trust that a Sunday will come and with it, the resurrection of all that is good.

Now as Lent draws to an end and we prepare to celebrate Easter, this celebration of new life, let’s resolve to choose life.

Choose gratitude, rather than complaints.

Choose simplicity over materialism and complexity.

Choose relaxation and renewal over busyness.

Choose trust, rather than insecurity.

Choose service, rather than meaningless pursuits.

Choose life!

Choose love!

May all your Saturdays of Despair be followed by Sundays of Life! And may your choices lead you to Joy!

Spiritual Calm

This week let’s take a look at anxiety. Or put more positively, let’s focus on our sense of Calm.

First, some enemies of calm:

• Hurry
• Overextension
• Dwelling on our fears
• Giving in to our fears
• Disorganization
• Indecisiveness
• Procrastination
• Negativity
• Selfishness
• Fear of the future
• Inconsideration
• Unwillingness to say no
• Failure to plan
• Weariness
• Poor prioritization
• Weak self-discipline
• Insufficient self-confidence
• Too little prayer or meditation
• And perhaps most importantly, lack of trust in God

Does one of the listed challenges feel like an area where you need growth? Focus on improving in that one category. An improvement in any area of our lives will improve the other areas as well. But allowing anxiety in any area in our lives can affect our spiritual well-being.

Given that we profess to believe that:

God is all good,

God is all loving,

God is all powerful,

God wants what is best for me,

And true happiness comes from following His will,

Then why are we not spiritually calm?

There can be many reasons, but let’s look at four:

We know what God wants, but we don’t do it. Even St. Paul wrote, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.” (Romans 7:15)

 Maybe we fail to do what we should because of:

1. Resistance to change
   1. We are satisfied, and comfortable with our current situation.
   2. We feel we’ve done enough and are good enough.
2. Fears, such as:
   1. What He has in store for us will be painful.
   2. Service will take time away from our families and their needs.
   3. We won’t be good enough at what God asks us to do.
   4. He might lead us to suffering, or even death like the martyrs.
3. Contrariness or choosing short-term over long-term gain
   1. I don’t want to.
   2. I don’t have time.
   3. Maybe tomorrow.
4. Wounds from the past
   1. Criticism, judgment, or belittling has left us with low self-confidence.
   2. Accusations from others of being a goody-goody, showing off, or seeming self-righteous.
   3. Continued focus on our weaknesses makes it hard to believe we can do what He asks.
   4. But there is another wound from the past… Someone who represented God, or who pretended to, hurt us and/or our family. In this case, imagine Jesus driving the money changers out of the temple. Or remember that Jesus was hardest on the Pharisees. I believe the few examples of Jesus’ anger show He wants His church leaders to be Good Shepherds to His people, protecting the lambs rather than wounding them. I am so sorry if you were hurt by the very people who should have shown you the most loving kindness. Please seek the healing you need to restore your spirit and know that, though we all are imperfect humans, this should not have happened to you.

With all the above reasons for not doing what we know we should, we must remind ourselves that our All-loving God wants what is best for us, and true happiness comes from following His will.

The second reason we might not be spiritually calm is we don’t know what God’s will is.

Sometimes we seek to choose between two options. If one (or both) was a bad thing, such as breaking a vow or intentionally hurting an innocent person, we’d know it wasn’t God’s will. No dilemma. But sometimes we are trying to discern which direction God wants us to go when both are good choices, such as which career to follow or whether to marry or consider a religious vocation as a single.

• There is no substitute for prayer at these times, and even fasting.
• Consulting other trusted individuals who are wise mentors or counselors is helpful for pointing out areas you might not have considered, but the choice must be yours.
• Sincerely ask yourself if you really do know, but don’t want to admit it because of fear.
• Imagine for a few days you’ve made choice A. How does it make you feel? Do the same with choice B. If one choice seems more attractive, might it be that God is leading you through that attraction?
• Would your strengths serve one choice better than the other? Might God have been preparing you for this choice by your life experiences, even the difficult ones?
• Take time away from your routine to be free to think and pray through the decision. Ask God to lead you, and to redirect you if you are not making the choice He wants.

A third possibility is we are overwhelmed with non-spiritual matters. For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a day of sabbath rest to the Lord. (Exodus 35:2)

How balanced is your life? Have you set any boundaries that ensure time for spirituality, creativity, family closeness, and fun? We are doing ourselves no favors if we forget that God gave us one day each week to rest and refresh. On that day we should be enjoying our families, moving closer to Him through prayer or spiritual reading, and expressing our creative, fun side.

Fourth, perhaps we aren’t calm because our relationship with God is weak. How can we trust someone we don’t know?

Matthew Kelly writes about a very dependable way to deepen any relationship, be it with God, spouse, best friend, or children. He calls it, Carefree Timelessness. By this he means spending time without an agenda, simply to enjoy someone’s company. No matter what the relationship, increase carefree timelessness and it will deepen. Spend some carefree timelessness with God. Chat with Him. And listen. “When you feel the absolute calm has been broken, come away alone with Me until your heart sings, and all is strong and calm.” From the book God Calling, February 21 entry.

Let’s end this exploration of calm with a disclaimer. Don’t expect to remain spiritually calm, even when you obey God’s nudges. We will find joy from obedience, but in my experience, it won’t be long before God nudges us back out of our new comfort zone and encourages us toward more growth and more joy!

But even before you find yourself spiritually calm, perhaps you can be a calm eye-of-the-storm for someone else. Listen to them when they are in need. Don’t be surprised if find your own worries seem small by comparison, and you can gain perspective.