Grandparents – Historians and Storytellers)

“About the time Grandma Mary’s father emigrated from Croatia, Grandad Connor said goodbye to his family in Ireland.”

Why does this catch your interest? Because it sounds like the beginning of an interesting story.

Our great-grandparents—fishermen and miners—were persecuted in the “old countries” of Croatia and Ireland. They sacrificed to come to the United States to make a better life for their families. Some of them were mere teenagers when they crossed the Atlantic in ships. In this country they or their children became machinists, teachers, secretaries, and engineers.

My mother and her father had blue eyes, like most of you grandchildren. Red hair appears here and there, as well as freckles and near sightedness.

We grandparents are the historians and storytellers for our grandchildren. We are their connection to the past. Our tales offer them little pieces of their identity and wrap them in belonging. They learn what it means to become “one of us.”

               

Be a storyteller!

Lorene Hanley Duquin writes in her book, The Catholic Grandparents Handbook, “When you share family stories, you help your grandchildren put their lives in historical perspective. Storytelling also hones listening skills and activates a child’s imagination. Whether the stories are happy, sad, funny, or too outlandish to be true, they form an invisible web that binds the family together.”  (p. 130)

• Tell your grandchildren about what you remember about them: when they were born, walked, first talked, visited your house, or when you visited them. Children enjoy being the main character in a story. They also love hearing about things their parents did when they were children. (Careful not to embarrass their parents too much.) I keep a document of funny things each grandchild said that their parents tell me about or post to Facebook. They love to read these when they are older.
• Talk about how your childhood was different than theirs. Can they imagine your life before computers? What were your favorite toys? What did you do with your friends? Did you have roller skates, a scooter, or a bike? What pets were part of your family? What chores did you do? How was life different then?
• Take them to visit where you grew up. Show your house, school, and church.
• Make a family tree, perhaps large enough to hang on a wall. This is a great visual for children to “know their place” in the best of ways.
• Make photo albums for each child or show them old pictures of their parents.
• Help older grandchildren write a Family Who’s Who or consider writing a family history that you give them when they graduate from high school.

“Grandparents are a family’s memory,” Pope Francis says. “They are the ones who gave us the faith.” (Address, Sept. 26, 2015)(p. 132)

Teach your traditions.

Our family makes sugar cookies for Valentine’s Day and Christmas. We eat povitica, a rolled walnut bread, for holidays. When the first snow of the year arrives, we make rice pudding. We choose Lenten resolutions by Ash Wednesday, play Pictionary on Thanksgiving, and put our shoes out for St. Nicholas Day. We have a tradition of dads taking their daughters on first dates when they are 12.

“Traditions bind family members together and instill a sense of belonging. Children learn important lessons from family traditions—about personal values, social behaviors, and communication skills.” (p. 124) They help a child feel secure within the family. Even if there are disagreements, they sense the love that unites them all.

Share holiday preparations with them. Teach them how to bake family favorites. Pass on your skills, whether knitting, sewing, wood carving, mechanics, playing a musical instrument, or building model cars. I still fondly remember an elderly neighbor patiently teaching me lace tatting when I was about ten. Grandpa taught me the names of tools so I could hand him the right one. Grandma was my go-to cooking resource.

Traditions can change over time. Don’t be too worried if things aren’t done quite the way they used to be. Flexibility allows the important facets of traditions to remain. As our children’s children grow, perhaps where the tradition takes place shifts from your home to theirs. Be open to new traditions as circumstances require. Maybe you have the family every other year for Christmas in order for them to celebrate with their spouses’ families. Maybe your Christmas is celebrated at Thanksgiving. The most important part of traditions is the relationships that you are building.

Pope Francis reminds us, “The true joy which we experience in the family is not superficial; it does not come from material objects, from the fact that everything seems to be going well…. True joy comes from a profound harmony between persons, something which we all feel in our hearts and which makes us experience the beauty of togetherness of mutual support along life’s journey. But the basis of this feeling of deep joy is the presence of God, the presence of God in the family and his love which is welcoming, merciful, and respectful towards all. (Homily, Oct 27, 2013) (p .128)

To conclude, a Grandparent Prayer:

“Lord, give me the wisdom to see the goodness in my family history, the patience to preserve our family memories, the understanding of how to pass this heritage on to my children, and the joy of knowing that your love binds all of this together. Amen.” (p. 134)

Blessings on your week! Only two left in Lent.

Betty

PS – As for my storytelling, I have it on good authority: