Betty’s Jubilee Celebration

“Count off seven sabbaths of years—seven times seven years—so that the seven sabbaths of years amount to a period of forty-nine years. Then have the trumpet sounded everywhere on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the Day of Atonement sound the trumpet throughout your land. Consecrate the fiftieth year and proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants. It shall be a jubilee for you; each one of you is to return to her family property and each to her own clan.” (Leviticus 25:8-10 NIV)^[1] 

At forty-nine, I had been pondering what it would feel like to turn fifty. When I read this passage, I toyed with the possibility of applying the reading to myself. The combined ideas of celebrating, consecrating to God, taking time to rest, forgiving and being forgiven, and returning to homeland and family all appealed to me. I could be a Jubilee Woman! As part of returning to my clan, I began to write about the women in my family who had influenced me. That grew to a booklet about fifty women who blessed my fifty years. I wanted to thank the ladies who taught me, through their example, how to be a friend, a woman, a mother, a writer, a neighbor, and a child of God.

The idea grew to fruition as, shortly before my fiftieth birthday, I invited the local women to my home for a tea in their honor. I had a wonderful time preparing. I printed copies of my Fifty Years – Fifty Women booklet, complete with two homemade bookmarks. One repeated the Jubilee quote from above, and the other quipped, “A Woman is like tea. You’ll never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water. — Eleanor Roosevelt.” I crocheted tiny teapots and glued them to magnets. I made nametags, added teacup stickers and a word depicting the gift each women had taught me—words like graciousness, involvement, and hospitality. I nestled tea samples, chocolates, and a demitasse spoon into a teacup for each lady to take home.

The day before the party, my daughters and mother flew through the final preparations with me; we set tables (three sets of china), cut roses to float in crystal bowls, mixed ice tea, and washed teapots. My good husband had already added leaves to the tables and hurried to get my website functional. (www.BettyArrigotti.com or www.JubileeWomen.com)

Then the big day and the ladies arrived! Old friends reconnected and conversation between strangers bounced from what their nametag might mean to how they met me. Ninety-degree weather didn’t deter us; we simply began with ice tea until the air conditioning cooled us enough to try new hot flavors. Tea sandwiches and scones disappeared, followed by cookies and chocolate dipped strawberries, fresh from the refrigerator. I gave a quick talk to thank the women for the gift of their examples and explain how I wanted to mark my jubilee year by letting them know how important each of them is to me.

Of course, it was over too soon, but I smiled through the next day, enjoying the afterglow and phone calls from many who attended. One auntie said she didn’t remember ever having more fun with a group of women. A friend told me I had changed the course of her life with a phone call I didn’t remember making. One said she felt like she had visited Europe for a day. Another was delighted to meet my daughters, who made the event flow smoothly as they refilled pitchers and teapots, while watching for anyone who needed to be drawn into conversation. Again and again, I heard that this party wouldn’t be the last of its kind.

How about it, Jubilee Women?

I encourage you to remember the women who have influenced you and imagine how many others your unique lives have blessed. If each of us is formed by fifty others, and leaves our touch on the soul of fifty more, imagine the heartstrings that weave the women of this world together.

Whom will you thank for their influence on you? How soon?

4 Minutes 4 Hard Times – Trust like Jesus

            Welcome back to 4 Minutes 4 Hard Times. Over the last few weeks we’ve looked at aspects of difficult times: worry, fear, gratitude, necessary losses, and money concerns.

 (1 minute version)

            In this  final Lenten post I’d like to consider Holy Week and what we can learn from studying Jesus as he faced his own “hard times.” We start with his triumphant entry into Jerusalem, riding on a donkey and being hailed as “King of the Jews.” The crowd and the apostles held high expectations for this king, that he would overthrow the Roman conquerors and lead the people to wealth and power. Only a few days later those expectations were crushed, their hope crucified.

            During the final hours before his death, Jesus wept in the garden, pled with his Father to let there be another way, suffered betrayal by a loved one, was wrongly accused, was abandoned by all his followers, and felt forsaken by God. He was stripped, beaten, and humiliated.

             He responded to these challenges with trust when he committed to follow his Father’s will rather than his own, accepted his abuse without retaliation, confirmed his identity, promised redemption to the criminal who testified to his innocence, gave his mother into a friend’s care, forgave us all, and—demonstrating his unending love—commended his spirit into his Father’s hands.

            Let’s look at that final act. He commended himself into his Father’s care. Even while suffering to the point of death, he trusted his Father. Isn’t that the ultimate answer to how we need to respond to difficult times? His trust enabled him to follow, accept, forgive, and love. Placing our trust in God will do the same for us.

             “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

(3 minutes more)

             It all comes down to how we answer some “meaning of life” questions:

•  Do you really believe God loves you, and is in fact Love itself?
•  Do you believe God is all-powerful? (Including able to forgive anything?)
•   Do you trust God?

            If we profess God’s love and power, why don’t we trust him completely, even when things go bad? I think we expect God to keep things going as we want them to go. When our expectations (like the Jerusalem crowd’s) are not met, we are tempted to doubt his love and doubt that he wants what is best for us. We become angry with God. We forget that God knows, better than we do, what is best. When Jerusalem wanted power in this world, Jesus was offering them an heir’s inheritance in the next. When we want health and happiness, he may be helping us grow in depth and holiness.

             God longs for us to trust him. Not a problem in good times. Not so easy when challenges crush our spirits. But he treasures our trust in those times, especially. Much of the Bible (if not all) is written to encourage us to trust in God.

             We read about Abraham’s willingness to trust God, “And he believed the Lord, and God counted it to him as righteousness.” (Genesis 15:6)

             Jeremiah, the prophet, writes, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

            David, the psalmist, knew all the rewards that come from trusting God: “In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them”. (Psalm 22:4)

 “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. (Psalm 28:7)

 “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” (Psalm 37:5)

“In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?” (Psalm 56:4)

            The entire New Testament is an account from Jesus of how much our Heavenly Father loves us and is anxious to forgive us. How even the sparrow doesn’t fall without God knowing and caring. The night Jesus would be betrayed he said to his apostles, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” (John 14:1) He continued, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27)

             Jesus knew what was coming and his final words before his arrest were words of comfort for his apostles and for us. He didn’t want us to be troubled by things of this world. He wanted us to trust him and his Father. To trust the way he trusted.

             Even recent saints received messages from God, reminding us to trust in him. The Sunday after Easter is celebrated as the Feast of Divine Mercy. St. Faustina began this special devotion to Jesus’ message, “that His Love and Forgiveness is greater than our sins. All He asks is that we trust in Him, ask for and accept His Mercy, and then let Mercy work through us to help others. He also wants us to be merciful, loving, compassionate, and forgiving to others.”

             Like the gospel command, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful,” this demand that we show mercy to our neighbors “always and everywhere” seems impossible to fulfill. But the Lord assures us that it is possible. “When a soul approaches Me with trust,” He explains, “I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.“ (St. Faustina’s Diary, 1074).

             None of us want to hear platitudes when we are troubled. Yet, saying “In God we trust,” is not a cliché. Those words hold the depth of wisdom.

             Trust your troubles to God. Each night give your cares to him. He loves you and will be with you through every evil time. He promised he will cause all things to work together for good, for you who love him.

Blessings on your Holy Week.

Betty Arrigotti

4 Minutes 4 Hard Times – To Handle Worry

Welcome back to another 4 minute post. Today we’ll look at one effect of hard times that can become debilitating–our tendency to worry until we are fettered by fear.

 Marshall J Cook tackles our fears from a spiritual perspective in his book, How to Handle Worry – A Catholic Approach. He writes that worry can be productive when it motivates us to action, but destructive when it stagnates us, or when it becomes so chronic that it affects our health. The following are some of the nuggets available in his book:

In order to cope with anxiety, understand that anxiety is a normal reaction to stressors. Sometimes simply acknowledging nervousness is enough. But other times we need to take action—deep breaths, mini breaks in the day to relax, slowing down and simplifying, leaving room in our schedule for the unexpected, keeping a daily journal, adding music to our life, exercising, and/or getting the amount of sleep we really need.

We always need to take our problems to the Good Shepherd. Turn all the “stuff” – big and small – over to God. God is in control. Allowing our anxiety to keep us from action demonstrates a lack of trust in God, for if we truly believe that God is good and wants what is best for us, that He is all powerful and knows better than we do what we need, that this life is only a short part of our whole existence, then we have nothing to fear.

But even when we want to trust him (Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!), worries return. What then? Meet the anxieties head on – set a 10 minute appointment for them at the same every day. When worries come at other times, tell them you’ll think about them at the set time, not now. When the set time comes, fully experience the worry. Let it flood you. Christ is with you; nothing bad will happen to you. The worry is only a feeling. The storm will subside, replaced by a sense of relief. Then thank God for being with you, and even for the worry itself. At some point the worry won’t show up for its 10 minute appointment. Then pray for 10 minutes and thank God again.

In order to turn anxiety into energy, don’t resist or deny the fear. Track it to its true source. Name it. Then push the fear to the extreme. What is the worst that can happen? What are the odds that it will?

Figure out what, if anything, you can do about this particular fear. Let God help you choose the option that seems best. Write down exactly what you will do and when. Next, act in spite of your fear. Move forward. Abide by your decision and its consequences. Breathe deeply, pray, listen.

If your worry is due to lack of information, learn more and make a decision. If it is fear of the future, prepare fully and leave the rest to God. If you are afraid you made a mistake in the past, decide to act to repair the mistake, or not to act, and let it go. If your fear has frozen you into inertia, engage in vigorous sloth-busting. Take a step! If you are a master at evasion, face the music and remember God is leading the band.

If your worries keep you from making decisions, the author counsels, “Consider this. In a fundamental sense, you can’t make a ‘wrong’ decision. Whatever you decide, asking for God’s guidance and trusting in his love for you, you will grow in faith and love. You will find triumph and failure, sorrow and joy, because these are the essence of life on earth. You will more fully feel God’s abiding and incredible love for you, and you will see more clearly his plan for your life. When you look at it that way, what are you worried about?”

©©©©©©©©©©©©

In his newest book, Real Life, Dr. Phil McGraw writes to prepare people for “the seven most challenging days of your life.” One of those 7 is the day we realize we’ve been allowing fear to dominate our lives.

Dr. Phil believes we need to learn to be true to ourselves by choosing to live our lives authentically—not by conforming to what others think we should do, but by following our own passions and unique abilities. He says, “An interesting thing about integrity and self-acceptance is that when you’re comfortable in your own skin, other people sense it and usually end up respecting you a whole lot more than if you spent all your time trying to please them anyway.”

However, changing the way we are living, when we are living in fear, is scary. We have to be so tired of not living authentically that we risk the unknown to claim a new way, the change we (and the world around us) deserve.

Common fears are:

• Fear of losing control (reduces the sense of peace and joy in life)
• Fear of humiliation (keeps us from fighting for things worth fighting for)
• Fear of pain and punishment (keeps us from challenging ourselves)
• Fear of rejection (keeps us from enjoying friendships and partnerships)
• Fear of responsibility (keeps us from finding achievement and joy in life)
• Fear of intimacy (keeps us from the joy of relationships)
• Fear of failure (impedes us from seeking the values and passions we want to explore)

Dr. Phil’s action steps:

1. Decide what we really want and care about.
2. Examine how far we are away from what we want.
3. Make a life decision from the heart, a conviction.
4. Be true to ourselves, focus on where our lives don’t represent who we are and where we can change (responsibly, not selfishly).
5. Make it happen. Plan with goals and timetables.
6. Acknowledge our fears. What drives our behavior?
7. Challenge our irrational fears (often about our “unworthiness” or others’ judgments of us).
8. Set ourselves up for success (figure out what help we need and get it).
9. Know that we are not alone. Everyone feels anxiety and fear. Courage is acting in the face of it.

You’ve spent 4 minutes learning about ways to cope with hard times. I hope you find one bit of wisdom that will calm your worries. If not, you can go straight to the Source—below are some Bible quotes to consider. They can be printed out and taped to your mirror or slipped into a lunch bag.

Blessings on your week!

Betty Arrigotti 

Mark 5:

³⁶But Jesus, overhearing what was being spoken, said to the synagogue official,

 “Do not be afraid any longer, only believe.”

Matthew 10:

²⁹“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. ³¹“So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

Psalm 118:

⁶The LORD is for me;

I will not fear;

What can man do to me?

Psalm 34:

⁴I sought the LORD, and He answered me,

And delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 55:

 ⁴My heart is in anguish within me,

And the terrors of death have fallen upon me.

¹⁶As for me, I shall call upon God,

And the LORD will save me.

Psalm 94:

¹⁸If I should say, “My foot has slipped,”

Your loving kindness, O LORD, will hold me up.

¹⁹When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul.

Philippians 4:

⁶Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Luke 12:

³²Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom.

Matthew 11:

²⁸Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.